They’ll shank you just as soon as sing a joyful song.

They’ll shank you just as soon as sing a joyful song.

Bitches be much better now, thanks to a combination of therapy and the appropriate pharmaceuticals, thanks.

My mastery of superlatives is really, really, really good.

Really good.

Good.

beben-eleben:

Your Food is Secretly Talking About You Behind Your Back

(via bedside-manner)

Cheerleaders must really hate it if their school name starts with a D.

"Mind if I join you in your repulsive & self destructive habit?" I say as I approach cautiously, eyes downcast. The Alpha Puffer eyes me warily.

- From my upcoming documentary, “Smokers in the Mist”

With friends at the #yyc Stampede a week & a half ago. Log flumerific.

With friends at the #yyc Stampede a week & a half ago. Log flumerific.

Tags: yyc

The Big Oh

If you buy the right vowel, you can see Vanna White’s “O” face.

Singing “The Cat Came Back,” but changing it to involve an AK-47 & the cat not coming back.

Hush, Timmy. This is daddy’s creative outlet.

Flavorology

"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels," said the man who was clearly unaware of the great strides in flavor technology being made by Doritos

The Great White Hopeless

"Ah! Coffee whitener!? The ‘White Death’!" smugly quipped my co-worker, whom I’ve now nicknamed ‘The White Asshole.’

thebarley26:

But don’t take this phrase too seriously.This way of thinking was a paralyzing source of anxiety for me for most of my life.. Until maybe a year or so ago.Sometimes the feeling still catches the back of my throat.Live within the mindset that makes you the best version of who you are. Don’t let phrases like these, these bold ‘go for it or die’ type things, bully you.It’s out of love that they are posted here, but here is where things get blown out of proportion.This is where I remind you to stay grounded.Be happy, be well.

thebarley26:

But don’t take this phrase too seriously.

This way of thinking was a paralyzing source of anxiety for me for most of my life.. Until maybe a year or so ago.

Sometimes the feeling still catches the back of my throat.

Live within the mindset that makes you the best version of who you are.

Don’t let phrases like these, these bold ‘go for it or die’ type things, bully you.

It’s out of love that they are posted here, but here is where things get blown out of proportion.

This is where I remind you to stay grounded.

Be happy, be well.

My friend Kevin’s son was killed in a tragic cycling accident. Isaac was an accomplished scholar, musician, athlete, and a really pleasant young man.

Contribute & re-blog, please.

Heart of the Matter

Why, yes, this energy drink *does* give me wings!


And by wings I mean cardiac arrhythmia.

I worry how this name may affect their self esteem.

I worry how this name may affect their self esteem.