Bitches be much better now, thanks to a combination of therapy and the appropriate pharmaceuticals, thanks.
My mastery of superlatives is really, really, really good.
Cheerleaders must really hate it if their school name starts with a D.
"Mind if I join you in your repulsive & self destructive habit?" I say as I approach cautiously, eyes downcast. The Alpha Puffer eyes me warily.
- From my upcoming documentary, “Smokers in the Mist”
If you buy the right vowel, you can see Vanna White’s “O” face.
Singing “The Cat Came Back,” but changing it to involve an AK-47 & the cat not coming back.
Hush, Timmy. This is daddy’s creative outlet.
"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels," said the man who was clearly unaware of the great strides in flavor technology being made by Doritos
"Ah! Coffee whitener!? The ‘White Death’!" smugly quipped my co-worker, whom I’ve now nicknamed ‘The White Asshole.’
Why, yes, this energy drink *does* give me wings!
And by wings I mean cardiac arrhythmia.